December 2, 2015

Life Lately: Christmas has thrown me for a loop

Its been cold lately.  So cold that dawn brings icy white landscapes...
Icy, stiff, frozen greens and greys...with just a hint of pink sunrise.
And it has been staying all day!  This was taken well into the afternoon (1pm)...the frost is still here.
 I suppose that means winter is nigh.  If you follow my personal seasonal calendar, tomorrow is the start of winter...winter months being December - February.  And winter always starts off with Christmas for our family.  Decorating the house in preparation for the holiday celebrating the birth of a tiny baby - brought onto this earth to show people what it means to truly love.  Tons of family, and tasty food, and traditions, and music, and smells, and , and, and.  And this year...it hurts.  I drive through town and see all the lights, holly, wreaths, and baby's first Christmas stuff, and it brings me to tears.  Wow.  I wasn't expecting this to be honest.  Grief is weird like that.  One day I'll be smiling at the memory of Graham, feeling in sync with this new life, and the next I'm crying like a baby in the post office parking lot because I drove past a car lot full of Christmas trees.  Shoot.  There is nothing to be done other than let the feelings come and be exactly what they are.  So if you see me this season smiling in utter delight or crying silent tears, remember  to deal gently with me.  I'm just riding each wave as it comes.  Whispering for peace the entire time.  May you and your home be filled with peace this Christmas season.

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