March 13, 2015

Little Clark II: 29 weeks

Hello little Graham,

Where to start?  We got to see you in another ultrasound Feb. 26, and you were perfect.  Sucking on your little fingers, yawning, rubbing your little feet together, hiding your face behind your hands, we got to experience you in your happy spot.  And we also got a good look at your little head.  Sadly my boy, things are exactly where they were 9 weeks ago.  Behind your face and brain stem there is nothing.  no skull.  no brain tissue.  How you are even functioning with just a brain stem I have no idea, but am thankful that you have made it this far!  When of we got to that part of the scan I just cried and cried, and so did the ultrasound tech.  But you are still so lovely.  I will admit I am a bit worried about whether or not you will have skin or just a membrane over your opening.  I don't want to be afraid of you, yet I suppose just getting to hold you after birth will be enough to banish any fears.  The doc said that you are doing so well that she guesses we are still in the safe zone as far as being ready for birth until 35 weeks or so.  You are still sitting breach, which I could have told the doc without an ultrasound...due to your strategic kicks to the south.  Graham, you are sitting so low on mommy that I can rest my belly on my lap when I sit down!  But you are supposedly around 2.5 lbs now and around 14ish inches.  Growing growing growing.

We, your Dad and I, talked about what it would be like if you were born just fine, and wouldn't we be surprised to bring you home.  Of course this is what I want, but if I think about it God would really be the better parent; heaven the better playground.  We may be a bit crammed 4 in one bedroom, but we are looking to remedy that soon.  If/when you are taken up you'll never get to know any of the sadness that our world is currently muddled in.  Wars, missing airplanes, country take overs, skinned knees, girlfriend hearbreaks,..  I can't let myself go there buddy.  We all have a set time.  You get a sprint in a gorgeous time of year.  SPRING.  There are daffodils, and if you wait tulips or irises.  The blueberry bushes are starting to swell with buds, and the cherry blossoms are making pink trees.  I like to think you can somehow get the smell of freshly mown lawns (it has been so nice lately), and newly repotted plants.  Love you baby.

Kisses and prayers,
Mama and Daddy

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