I still had my 2015 Resolutions document open. Always one to look at a new year as a fresh start, goals for the coming year were neatly listed under a few categories: family, personal, financial, spiritual. Nothing like a slap of reality to change priorities. Nothing like learning that all the dreams and hopes for life as a family of four aren’t going to be fulfilled. Nothing like the sweet smell of newborn being taken away before he’s even here. (Can you guess that today has been a rough one?) They weren’t bad, but after such a swift priority realignment even those good goals looked meaningless. Writing four letters a month? Moving into a place with two bedrooms? Build our savings account to X? Pray weekly for those we give money to? As I said, nothing horrible but is that really what I want this year to be focused on? Aside from the last one, no. I did a quick rewrite, just three, no order of importance. Three things I want to define this new year.
1. Survive knowing that Graham won’t.
2. Love my Lord with everything I am, trust him with everything and everyone.
3. Love Brad, James and Graham deeply in a way that they feel, know and do not doubt it.
Sitting back, and reading the words on the screen...I thought yes. That is what I want. That is what I this year to be filled with...more un-doubtable, risky, beautiful love.