March 4, 2015

Monthly Portraits: February + cornbread making

These were taken baking cornbread together.  Doesn't that sound just romantic and wonderful?  It was, and I've dreamed of baking things together with kiddos. :)  But lest you think it was all rainbows and ponies, there was also a huge mess on the counter, James, me, the floor, basically everywhere!  He loved dumping things into the bowl, but keeping said ingredients in there was another story.  But he thoroughly loved it!  James also didn't want to use the spoon to stir everything together but preferred a banana snagged from the basket on the counter.  Oh well, it worked too, and we are snacking on it as I type this.  The bread is still in the oven, so we'll see if it turns out.

James - We've been doing more cooking together this month because you are so curious about what goes on on top of the counter.  You've also taken to waving goodbye to objects/people when leaving the room, etc.  Bye-bye tree, bye-bye book, bye-bye Daddy, bye-bye car.  Also your animal noises are really coming out well.  You know how to do the monkey, elephant, hamster, penguin*, giraffe*, sheep and are working on the moose.  (*completely made up by my knowledge of the animal not necessarily a sound)  You can also easily point to all facial features and some body parts.  You know exactly what we are saying despite your 5 word vocabulary - da! (yes), eh eh (no), Dada, Mama, uh oh!.  Da is a recent addition this past week.

The oven just beeped, and our house smells delicious.  Once it cools we'll dig in for our mid-morning snack/second breakfast (necessary when breakfast is upon waking at 6am).

February 26, 2015

Little Clark II: 27 weeks

Hello Graham,

You've made it through the 2nd trimester!!!  Good job baby.  You've really been growing because your stretches make me have to stretch out as well.  You've decided to start having dance parties at 1 am the past few nights, but I love it and you.  The only reason I know is because I am up for the restroom...often.  We have another ultrasound this see how you are growing, etc.  Your Dad is taking a half-day off of work so that he can be there which will be really good.  A tiny piece of my heart is hoping with everything that you are healed with a beautiful full brain and skull.  A tiny piece is all I can manage, buddy.  It takes every so slightly less strength to believe God has already called you for a sprint rather than a marathon.  I had a thought this week, if I just stayed pregnant then you would be safe forever.  Of course that isn't how things work, but that didn't stop me from dreaming it.  :)  Graham, the other day I was driving home and the simple thought of: "I'm driving my two boys home" came to me, and it felt indescribably good...a minute of complete peace, contentment and joy.  This week has been peppered with those moments.  I'm so glad.  I love you little fella, and cannot wait to see your little face and kiss your feet, and hands, and tummy, and cheeks, and basically every inch of you.

Happy rolling baby,
Mama + Daddy + James

February 19, 2015

A wonderful winter day

With 60+ degree days, there has been no excuse not to be outside.  We have spent time at the lake, in the park, on the swings, tossing rocks into puddles, etc.
As per uze, the park was empty.
James gave me the look...
 Quickly ditched his coat...
 And headed out to explore.
He brings me such joy.

February 17, 2015

Little Clark II: 26 weeks

Also I realize these are not exactly the best pictures ever.  
Hello Graham,

This week was...eventful.  The weather has been absolutely gorgeous here so we've been outside a  great deal.  Friday your Dad surprised me with a night away to Oregon City, just the two of us.  It was so relaxing, and with no big brother crawling all over you, I was able to feel so much of you moving around!  You are 14 inches long, and I can tell because you decided to crawl up into my right rib cage the other day.  Another appointment come and gone...strong heartbeat 140s, and constantly kicking the doppler then hiding.  I washed two little outfits for you and tucked them into our go bag which is sitting on top my our dresser.  Your first McCurry cousin has arrived, Isabel Treintje.  And you went on your first "hike".  Thankfully it was nothing like the Hike of Death I went on when pregnant with your brother.  Life keeps moving on.  It feels like forever ago we found out about anencephaly...reality says its only been six weeks.  six weeks tomorrow.  I looked into funeral homes this week baby, and that was the worst thing ever.  But I looked into children's hospice nurses as well.  We get another ultrasound (hopefully) on the 27th.  I would love to see whatever profile you have since they didn't give us any.  I found out a girl I know is having a baby just like you, and all I could think was; please, God no.  It hit your Dad and I pretty hard this last week as to what life is going to be like, pending a miracle.  But we are enjoying you, and I am especially your kicks.  Take care sweet one.  Get rest tonight and wake ready to kick some more tomorrow.

We love you son,
Mama & Fadda

In other was horrible because: 
I cried when thinking of the comments insinuating that Graham’s condition is my fault.
James bit me twice, and I wish I had a better bruise to prove it.
James jumped on my belly making it ache and me worry about Graham coming early.
I spent time thinking about coming home from the hospital with no Graham and crying.
I cried myself to sleep, and when I awoke my hair was wet from either drool or tears or both.
We had no milk in the house.

But there were these saving graces,
I ate a delicious bagel with cream cheese.
There were two random texts from friends/family telling me that they cared about me & our fam.
Mom watched James for a bit so I could cry myself to sleep take a nap.
Brad hugs. 
James shared his blankey and lots of snuggles today.
The sun was shining, and the windows were all open.
There are clean sheets on my bed.
God is still here.

February 5, 2015


There have been some beautiful, colorful beginnings and end of the days.  Each day is such a gift, and these sunrises and sunsets have been emphasizing that lately.  How could I not look outside and be thankful to God for another day?  Answer: I could not.  So won't you sing Fiddler on the Roof's "Sunrise sunset" with me?
 Sunrise, sunset...