April 16, 2015

Little Clark II: 34 weeks

Hello Graham!

This week was very good, maybe even great!  We ate yummy food, enjoyed camping, soaked in time as our little family of four with your Uncle John.  And I got to see you again live from the ultrasound machine!  This time your Nana was there too because Dad had to work.  But baby, not only are you huge, at least 5 lbs the doc said, but you've also flipped!  You are head down, which makes me feel a bit more relaxed.  We were going to deliver breach, but you decided for the ?easier? option.  I'm not sure that will be easier for your little head though, which leaves me torn.  But we got to see your little fist, crunched up knees and feet, and perfectly formed and beating heart.  You keep surprising the doctor I think because she had said to be ready for birth at 28 weeks, but each visit she keeps pushing it back.  You are settled in quite nicely, and aside from the anencephaly everything looks perfect.  Mentally I've been considering this week your due date, simply because that is when your brother came, but I don't mind you waiting.  We're looking at a rental this next week, and hope to get in by May 1...so that the new tenants can move into our current/hopefully old place.  You're kicking as I write this which makes me think...hmm...it is getting close to lunch time.  How about some apple carrot salad?  That sounds delish to me.  Love you so much baby.  Pray for you even more, my biggest prayer is that you survive birth.  I know that we will have to be content with whatever happens, but I would love to hold you in my arms before your little soul moves on.

So many kisses,

April 14, 2015

Monthly Portrait: March (better late than never)

This month James had his first concrete face-plant...off a concrete steps.  He sported quite the trophy for several weeks.  

April 9, 2015

Little Clark II: 33 weeks

Dear Graham,

Your brother is at Nana's.  I am resting on the couch writing.  And in the garage I hear the kachunk, kachunk, kachunk of the nail gun as your Daddy builds a casket.  This is not a good day...I should have stayed at Nana's with your brother, but a nap sounded too good to pass up.  I sincerely hope that we don't have to use what your Dad is building.  I hope we can burn it the month after you are born because you're so healthy the thought of keeping it would be completely ridiculous.  Yet that hoping doesn't change the fact that he wanted to be the one to build a place for your body to rest forever.  And thus he is.  A friend and I were talking this week about how everyone's days are numbered, and how from the beginning God knew the exact days of our lives.  It is interesting to think about so I've been mulling it over these past few days.  You've been with us for 33 weeks as of Tuesday; that is 231 days.  Your brother James is just 580 days. Your other sibling was given 56 days, such a small number.  We lost him on New Year's Eve, and the next year cousin Eliana was born that same day.  Bittersweet? Yes.  Your Dad has had 11,078 days, and I am at 10,400 while Great-Grandpa has had 31,451 days today!  Its interesting to think that some are given 56 while others have yet to reach their fulfillment at 31,451 days.  Why isn't a question I feel compelled to ask.  But take heart little one, you are worth more than the sum of your days...infinitely more.  231, 365 or 33,580 your life is valued just the same, but I will admit that it would be easier to know you with more days tucked under your belt.  Rest well little Graham, my growing baby boy.  You've made it to 4 lbs and 17 inches - ish.
Happy 33 weeks buddy.  Don't come this weekend while we're camping ok?!

Love you Graham,
Mama & Daddy

April 7, 2015

My Favorite Tree: Spring, Summer, Fall & Winter

It has been mentioned before that I have a favorite tree...it is true!  The tree below is my favorite tree.

April 2, 2015

Little Clark II: 32 weeks

Hello baby,

Happy 32 weeks old!  You are rolling a great deal more lately.  I love every moment of it.  Lately you've been scooting your head along my right side, my ribs, my hip.  You've been moving from breach to transverse but still not head down.  We'll see what happens.  If ever you get still and I start to wonder if you are still here, my warm hand is all thats needed on my skin to get you moving a bit.  I cannot believe it has been 12 weeks since we first learned of your anencephaly.  Such a long time.  Some days it feels like mere seconds have passed, and others feel like we've been in this state for years.  Every morning I wake up and rub my hands across my belly to get a feel for where you are.  Every morning I whisper, "are you still here?", and  sometimes you'll kick right away and reassure me...other times it takes a while for a response.  But every morning you've answered my question the same way, "Yes, I am!".  Happy 32 weeks baby.  We love you immensely.

Belly rubs,
Mama and Fadda